|
BUY VIAGRA GENERIC - discount generic viagra online
by MIKE MIERS
Tuesday, Jul. 14, 2009 at 2:00 AM
mikemiers@yahoo.com
VIAGRA ONLINE
BUY VIAGRA HERE - CLICK TO FIND BEST PRICES ON VIAGRA
viagra alternative, viagra pill, buy viagra online etc. herbal viagra female viagra, free viagra order viagra online and viagra for woman, purchase viagra (viagra substitute) viagra prescription by natural viagra.viagra cialis buy viagra buying viagra. About generica viagra viagra uk. About buy viagra online viagra sale online by cheap generic viagra by buy viagra cheap (order viagra online) viagra levitra buy generic viagra viagra on line.
• One partner feels continually frustrated by the other’s lack of
desire.
• Both partners have lost desire, feel disconnected from each
other, and are unhappy about having infrequent sex.
• Couples fight about how often or when to have sex.
Some people have naturally low sex drives. In their youth, they
were less interested in sex than other people their age, and at midlife,
they may have only occasional desire. Obviously this isn’t a problem
if they’re not in a relationship or married to someone with a similar
low sex drive. Disparate sex drives often do create tension in a couple.
If the woman suddenly blossoms sexually at midlife, the unexpected
disparity can be more troubling to both partners than it would be if
it had existed throughout the marriage.
The reasons for low desire are complicated. Almost everyone goes
through some phases of low desire in their lifetime, typically at crisis
points, such as major illness or some kind of loss or following the
birth of a child, and the phase is a temporary one. Some medications
suppress desire (see Chapter 13) and, particularly at midlife, excessive
smoking, drinking, and eating can have the same dampening effect
on libido. In some people, low desire is a function of low hormone
levels (see Chapter 11). When inhibited desire is a chronic condition
not explained by physical factors, the causes are often rooted in un-
resolved relationship issues. Sometimes, like Harry and Maureen, a
couple have grown apart because one or both neglected the relation-
ship. Passion doesn’t thrive inside a marriage of convenience or a
financial and parenting partnership.
TEN STEPS FOR INCREASING DESIRE
There are many good reasons for wanting to make love more often.
Sex is not only a way of sharing pleasure, it is also one of the primary
means a couple has of building, maintaining, and reinforcing emo-
tional intimacy. When a man and woman are satisfied with their sex
life together, their bond seems stronger.
1. Start building sexual bridges to each other. Touch more fre-
quently. When frequency becomes an issue, some couples stop
136
touching each other altogether. They may fear a hug, a held
hand, a caress could be misconstrued as a sexual signal.
2. Set aside nonsexual time for each other. Spend more time to-
gether. Do all or most of your evenings out involve friends,
business social obligations, family functions, or civic affairs?
Get to know each other as interesting people again.
3. Agree not to make frequency a control issue. The partner who
wants more sex will agree not to be overly seductive or demand-
ing. The partner who isn’t interested in sex very often will take
the responsibility for letting the other know when he or she is
feeling desirous.
4. Don’t expect your partner to gratify all your sexual desires.
Masturbate. Fantasize. Indulge your sensuous nature.
5. Don’t expect your partner to be responsible for turning you
on. If your libido is low, encourage and nurture your sexual
fantasies. Read and watch erotica. Masturbate, but not to orgasm.
Give yourself more sensuous treats, such as clothing that feels
good against the skin.
6. Separate sex and romance. Have you stopped being romantic
because you’re afraid a romantic gesture will be construed as a
sexual invitation? Romance can, but doesn’t have to be, a prelude
to sex. It can be an end in itself.
7. Speak freely. Frequency is in your minds whether you discuss
it or not - and may, in fact, become a bigger stumbling block if
you don’t. Without blaming each other, have a conversation
about desire. Be specific about how often you feel desire, what
it feels like to you, what seems to instigate those feelings.
8. Examine your issues. Now might be a good time to go back
over some of the material previously covered. Do you have un-
expressed resentment toward your partner? Unresolved anger?
A low level of desire could also reflect a lack of optimism, en-
thusiasm, or passion in your life in general.
9. Make a nondemand sex date with your partner. You can be
SEX OVER 50
viagra uk viagra sample,Welcome To Our Online Pharmacy free viagra sample.buy viagra viagra side effects, purchase viagra online, cheapest viagra, viagra cialis etc. buying viagra etc. viagra uk, viagra sale online and low price viagra. cheap generic viagra, buy viagra buy levitra buy viagra buy cialis cialis1 buy cialis1
• Absolutely no interruptions.
• The listener summarizes the major points, without editing,
analyzing, interpreting, or judging.
• Each should have a separate agenda. The second speaker
doesn’t get to rebut what the first person said. Otherwise the
conference degenerates into one asking, “How could you see it
that way?” and the other countering, “Why don’t you see it the
way I do?”
What is the point of the emotional conference? It’s hoped that both
partners will consider how their actions affect each other and learn
to listen attentively. This exercise is also a weekly reminder that no
two people, even the long and happily married, view incidents and
actions in exactly the same way.
Andy, 53, and Ruth, 50, patients of mine in couple counseling, had
been in a relationship for five years when they began having weekly
emotional conferences. In the early weeks, they continually interrupted
each other, challenged each other’s “inaccuracies,” and began “inno-
cent” discussions afterward that erupted into arguments. After five
months, Andy was able to tell Ruth that he was avoiding intercourse,
which she strongly favored over other forms of lovemaking, because
he was afraid of not getting or maintaining a hard erection. That led
him to admit he feared erectile failure would diminish him in her eyes
because he’d secretly struggled with inferiority feelings all his life. In
summarizing his statements, Ruth neither offered comfort nor defended
her enjoyment of intercourse. She would say, for example, “I hear
you say that you are avoiding intercourse because you fear failure.”
No editorializing.
“That conference didn’t have an immediate dramatic effect on our
sex life,” Andy says, “but it did bring us closer. She’d never seen me
as someone who felt inferior or insecure.”
MASTER THE ART OF SURRENDER
Surrender is the opposite of control. In the context of erotic a
“surrender” is often the word used when the heroine allows herself
to be swept away by the hero’s passion. That’s a very narrow view of
erotic surrender. It limits the woman and leaves out the man entirely.
.
|
