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and for themselves. If you and your lover have lost touch with your sensuality, reawaken the five senses one at a time. Through this reawakening the emotional connection between the two of you will deepen - and “the sex” will be better too. The five senses and their midlife status are: 1. Taste. The sense of taste serves a dual function in lovemaking, helping the lover define what part of the body is being touched as well as tasting it. You feel a partner’s genitals with your tongue when you’re licking them, and, if you are a sensual person, you feel the difference in the skin texture from one part of the labia to another, from the head of the penis to the underside of the shaft. Some couples become turned off to kissing, particularly French kissing, in midlife because their partners have become less conscientious about brushing teeth and freshening breath before lovemaking. Sometimes the med- ications taken for minor health problems change taste or the ability to taste. squeezing his PC muscles. • The woman squeezes her vaginal walls in time with her con- tractions. • Begin squeezing with the first contraction. Repeated use of the method gradually extends orgasms and, for many people, makes the initial contractions more intense. COMMENTS: A couple who gave themselves face lifts for their fiftieth birthdays, which were six weeks apart, also began doing Kegel exercises when they were recovering from surgery. He says: “It was the only workout I could do for a while, so I thought why not. My expectations were minimal, and I was really surprised by the results. Using the PC technique for extending orgasms has worked very well for me. I have more contractions and feel them more strongly.” She says: “I have a physically fit vagina for the first time in my life. Any woman who thinks that doesn’t have an effect on the quality of orgasms doesn’t have one. It’s a huge difference. Yes, I can make my orgasms last longer and feel stronger. The contractions continue gently subsiding for several minutes afterward. It’s like having earthquake aftershocks going off in my vagina.” MULTIPLE ORGASMS AT MIDLIFE Multiple orgasms occur when a woman (or a man, which is less likely) has a second, third, or more orgasms without completely re- 158 turning to the resolution phase. In other words, a level of excitation is maintained between orgasms; the woman or man is not starting the climb over again from a low point on the arousal scale. Probably all women are capable of having multiple orgasms though it is estim- ated fewer than 50 percent ever do. Far fewer men do, and whether all can or not depends on one’s perspective on sexuality. At midlife women are more likely to have multiple orgasms than at any other time. As previously noted, her erotic responses are more rapid, her level of confidence higher, her sexual self-awareness greater. For many women, regular orgasms or multiple orgasms begin to happen now because they’ve finally gotten over their embarrass- ment about needing manual clitoral stimulation during intercourse to achieve orgasm. Once they feel free to touch themselves or ask for the touch, they become more orgasmic. The types of multiples are: • Compounded singles. Each orgasm is distinct and separated by a partial return to the resolution phase. • Sequential multiples. Orgasms occur two to ten minutes apart with minimal reduction in arousal between them. • Serial multiples. Numerous orgasms are separated by mere seconds or minutes at most with no diminishment of arousal. Some women experience this as one long orgasm with spasms of varying intensity. SEX OVER 50Overindulgence in food, alcohol, or chronic smoking may also have changed the way one partner tastes or the other’s ability to taste. Be alert to your partner’s responses to the way you taste. 2. Smell. The sense of smell is obviously an integral part of sexual- ity. Semen and vaginal secretions have a scent. The scent of semen in particular can be affected by chronic heavy alcohol consumption, smoking, poor eating habits. Many men and women also use personal fragrance as a seductive tool. Hormonal changes in women can pro- duce chemical changes in the body that impact the interaction of skin and perfume. The scent worn for a lifetime may no longer carry the

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