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and for themselves. If you and your lover have lost touch with your
sensuality, reawaken the five senses one at a time. Through this
reawakening the emotional connection between the two of you will
deepen - and “the sex” will be better too.
The five senses and their midlife status are:
1. Taste. The sense of taste serves a dual function in lovemaking,
helping the lover define what part of the body is being touched as
well as tasting it. You feel a partner’s genitals with your tongue when
you’re licking them, and, if you are a sensual person, you feel the
difference in the skin texture from one part of the labia to another,
from the head of the penis to the underside of the shaft. Some couples
become turned off to kissing, particularly French kissing, in midlife
because their partners have become less conscientious about brushing
teeth and freshening breath before lovemaking. Sometimes the med-
ications taken for minor health problems change taste or the ability
to taste. squeezing his PC muscles. • The woman squeezes her vaginal walls in
time with her con- tractions. • Begin squeezing with the first contraction.
Repeated use of the method gradually extends orgasms and, for many people, makes
the initial contractions more intense. COMMENTS: A couple who gave themselves
face lifts for their fiftieth birthdays, which were six weeks apart, also began
doing Kegel exercises when they were recovering from surgery. He says: “It was
the only workout I could do for a while, so I thought why not. My expectations
were minimal, and I was really surprised by the results. Using the PC technique
for extending orgasms has worked very well for me. I have more contractions and
feel them more strongly.” She says: “I have a physically fit vagina for the
first time in my life. Any woman who thinks that doesn’t have an effect on the
quality of orgasms doesn’t have one. It’s a huge difference. Yes, I can make
my orgasms last longer and feel stronger. The contractions continue gently
subsiding for several minutes afterward. It’s like having earthquake
aftershocks going off in my vagina.” MULTIPLE ORGASMS AT MIDLIFE Multiple
orgasms occur when a woman (or a man, which is less likely) has a second, third,
or more orgasms without completely re- 158 turning to the resolution phase. In
other words, a level of excitation is maintained between orgasms; the woman or
man is not starting the climb over again from a low point on the arousal scale.
Probably all women are capable of having multiple orgasms though it is estim-
ated fewer than 50 percent ever do. Far fewer men do, and whether all can or not
depends on one’s perspective on sexuality. At midlife women are more likely to
have multiple orgasms than at any other time. As previously noted, her erotic
responses are more rapid, her level of confidence higher, her sexual
self-awareness greater. For many women, regular orgasms or multiple orgasms
begin to happen now because they’ve finally gotten over their embarrass- ment
about needing manual clitoral stimulation during intercourse to achieve orgasm.
Once they feel free to touch themselves or ask for the touch, they become more
orgasmic. The types of multiples are: • Compounded singles. Each orgasm is
distinct and separated by a partial return to the resolution phase. •
Sequential multiples. Orgasms occur two to ten minutes apart with minimal
reduction in arousal between them. • Serial multiples. Numerous orgasms are
separated by mere seconds or minutes at most with no diminishment of arousal.
Some women experience this as one long orgasm with spasms of varying intensity.
SEX OVER 50Overindulgence in food, alcohol, or chronic smoking may
also have changed the way one partner tastes or the other’s ability
to taste.
Be alert to your partner’s responses to the way you taste.
2. Smell. The sense of smell is obviously an integral part of sexual-
ity. Semen and vaginal secretions have a scent. The scent of semen
in particular can be affected by chronic heavy alcohol consumption,
smoking, poor eating habits. Many men and women also use personal
fragrance as a seductive tool. Hormonal changes in women can pro-
duce chemical changes in the body that impact the interaction of skin
and perfume. The scent worn for a lifetime may no longer carry the
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